A talk by Rabbi YY Jacobson based on Chana Levitan’s book “I Only Want to Get Married Once”

  1. Do we share the same basic goals and values?
  2. Am I relating to the person I am dating or have I created an image of them that I’m relating to?
  3. Can I admit that he has flaws and can I identify what they are? Am I honest about my own flaws?
  4. Does our relationship have healthy boundaries?
  5. What do people who are close to me think about him?
  6. Do I respect him? Does he respect me?
  7. Can I be open and honest with him? Do I trust him?
  8. How is our communication? How well do you get along?
  9. Does this person bring out the best in me? Does my life become more meaningful and inspired in his presence?
  10. Is he flexible? Does he know how to compromise? What size is his ego? Does he like himself? Is he a mensch?
  11. If he never changes, do I still want to get married to him?